A list of "Things you have to believe to be a Republican" has been around for some time but Dennis Prager just wrote a
column rebutting it. It got me to thinking. This is my version of a rebuttal.
Here's the list.
- Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
- The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
- Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.
- “Standing Tall for America” means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.
- A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
- Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
- The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans’ benefits and combat pay.
- Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.
- If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.
- A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
- HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.
- Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
- Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
- Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a “we can’t find Bin Laden” diversion.
- A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
- Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
- The public has a right to know about Hillary’s cattle trades, but George Bush’s driving record is none of our business.
- You support states’ rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.
- What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the ’80s is irrelevant.
- Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
The first point says more about the left than the right. Rush became accidentally addicted to a prescription painkiller that was not supposed to be addictive. Comparing that with recreational drug use is unfair.
Several of these points try to lump all conservative together. This is unfair. Just because someone on the far right believes something does not mean that all conservatives to. This is equivalent to attributing Cindy Sheehan's anti-American statements to Hillary. Numbers 2 and 6 are examples of this.
Numbers 3 and 5 are pairs of non sequiturs. Pro-business (and pro-employment) policies have nothing to do with drug or abortion policy. Also, no Republican has ever proposed removing all restraints on business.
No conservative has ever said number 4 although conservatives have pointed out that outsourcing tends to result in higher employment in the US.
Number 7 is another one that says a lot about the left. They characterize the troops as victims and/or killers then accuse the right of not supporting them.
Number 8 is a swipe at Governor Schwarzenegger's conduct in the early 1970s. This is a common trait among the left. Republicans who sinned decades ago are ever forgiven while Democrats who sinned in office are.
Number 9 is a legitimate point. Conservatives believe that high school kids are too young for sex and should not be encouraged. Liberals think that kids as young as 14 are old enough to have sex and should be given protection and encouragement.
An interesting thing about number 10 - the countries in question (France and Germany) both elected governments that are much more pro-America since this list was written.
For number 11, I've been watching the British government's recent cut-backs on medical coverage. They make HMOs seem warm and friendly.
Speaking of which, number 12 is fiction.
Number 13 is so wrong I could do a post on it all by itself. No Republican questions the link between tobacco and health hazards (although the link between second-hand smoke and health problems is questionable). Many Republicans do doubt that human-induced global warming requires gutting civilization. A completely different group of people believes in creationism. Many of this group are conservatives and many also doubt global warming but creationism is not part of the Republican platform.
Iraq and Iran have both been problems. The US has aided each against the other at different points depending on which country was the bigger menace at the time. With the invasion of Kuwait, Saddam took the prize as the most destabilizing element.
Number 15 has been repeated endlessly. Republicans believe that perjury, a felony, is impeachable. Republicans also believe that President Bush acted in good faith based on the intelligence estimates available. If Bush lied about Saddam having WMDs then President Clinton did, also.
Number 16 is a strange mish-mash. Republicans believe that the courts should not issue decisions that effectively amend the Constitution. That includes judges legalizing gay marriage in an end run around the legislatures. As for censoring the Internet - Democrats have been leaders in that as well as censoring video games (I'm thinking of Hillary here).
Number 17 tries to equate the likelihood that the Clinton's accepted a political payoff and used Hillary's one-time commodity trading to launder it with Bush's drunken driving record from the early 1970s. The first involves the possible cover-up of a crime. The second is a conviction record. Why would Democrats think that these are the same thing?
Number 18 concerns the differences between the Bush administration and other conservatives. While conservatives in general and Republicans specifically support Bush, they don't agree with everything his administration has done. Many libertarians support states rights to decriminalize Marijuana. The Bush administration disagreed with this. Different people, different opinions.
I'm not sure what number 19 is referring to. Maybe it is unproven accusations of Bush using cocaine and Clinton trying marijuana but not inhaling. The only people to accuse Bush of drug use are people with a political axe to grind. Clinton's drug use came up after a Bush nominee for the Supreme Court has to withdraw because he had tried marijuana in college. The two subjects have nothing to do with each other.
For number 20, I could point out that China and Viet Nam have changed governments and instituted reforms while Cuba has not. I could also point out that Clinton did not open trade with Cuba either. While these are true, the biggest reason that we have not opened trade with Cuba is that neither party wants to anger Florida's Cuban population.
Maybe I will write a set of things that Democrats believe. The problem is that my sense of fairness would keep me from writing such a one-sided, slanderous list so it would never become as widely-read as this list.